Written before Germany 2006, but worked for 2006 and 2010.
Yes it’s time for those World Cup cliches to be dusted off and given a trip around the paddock. Here’s mine – add your own and keep score as we progress to the Final!
“You can’t write the Germans off”
“Bobby Charlton (or Franz Beckenbauer / Klinsmann etc) looking fit enough to play 90 minutes today”
“Over to …. with news of discontent in the Dutch camp”
“…. are shaping up to be the surprise packet of Germany 2006”
“It’s overused, but this really is the “Group of Death””
“You would get away with that in the Premiership, but continental referees always whistle”
“The new interpretation of the offside rule…”
“African flair allied to European coaching” (yes it’s out and out racist, but hear it and see it in print or variations thereof – not just Ron Atkinson).
“Just another reminder of what Arsenal will be missing if he does go”
“Whether it’s diving or FIFA’s simulation, I call it cheating and it’s got to be cut out”
“Both sides would settle for penalties now”
“The permutations are complex, but if England win, they will top the group and avoid Germany in the next round”
“This magnificent stadium”
“Stuart Pearce, David Batty, Gareth Southgate and Chris Waddle…”
“The USA are ranked 11 in the world”
“I saw …. in the hotel lift this morning and…”
“A blaze of orange over there…”
And on and on we could go
For stuff that I find funny based entirely on my envy of these players’ talent, money, achievements etc, try the out of date, but still amusing http://www.uglyfootballers.com/index.asp and I know it’s not big and it’s not clever, but Ballack trousered a £130k a week deal yesterday, so I say knock ’em.