1. Snottey Greenpool – American swimmer who picked up a silver medal behind Michael Phelps in five events and is still waiting to be interviewed by American TV in the mixed zone.
2. Konstantli Fallinova – Ukrainian distance runner who paused to help Mo Farah back to his feet in the 10000m only to be lapped by the British athlete ten minutes later.
3. Malaria Shok – Romanian sailor whom organisers did their best to keep off-shore.
4. Jung-al-Kanopi – Out of favour Qatari athlete hardly seen in Brazil having been a major presence there for many years.
5. M.T.C. Ting – Thai Beach Volleyballer who has attracted little attention despite being a regular on our screens.
6. Guus Pairinoff – Dutch cyclist specialising in tandem events and much sought after by the Daily Mail.
7. Braak Keerfu – Sent home for the South African synchronised arm-wrestling team for unspecified reasons.
8. Britt Goldeggen – Danish reporter seconded to the BBC, famous for her only question, “How does it feel?”
9. Viagra – Exciting Brazilian footballer now an iconic veteran.
10. Lord Teflon – IOC member.